I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
