you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
