What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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