Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
