Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
