Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
