a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
