You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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