Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
