make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
