Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
