I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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