HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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