I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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