she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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