idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
