it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize