He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
