Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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