I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think my moral compass just broke
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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