Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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