is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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