so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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