awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i need some magic done to my vagina
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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