So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
