Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
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