What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
