How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
