do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
When did angry sex become our thing?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
