you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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