I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize