i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
