what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
