Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize