Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
