Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
