Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
