We're facebook friends in real life
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
