drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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