That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
