I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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