you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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