just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
