He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
