I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize