I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
