no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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