we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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