Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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