maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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