Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
