The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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