Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
