the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
