Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
