Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
