Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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