it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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