Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
