I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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