Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
