Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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