And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
